Some of these are quotes/lyrics and some I made up. Enjoy!
"It’s my life, don’t you forget."
"So I may have overstepped my boundaries. Big deal, that’s like my thing."
"I don’t date these girls because they’re well-read. I gave one of them a copy of Farewell to Arms. She thought it was a diet book.”
"Hey, don’t knock masturbation. It’s sex with someone I love."
"Some people play hard to get. I play hard to want."
"I would love to stand here and talk with you - but I’m not going to."
"Well, to be fair, you never said not to.”
"I drink to remember, I smoke to forget."
"Girls likes boy, boy likes girl, sex."
"It’s not that I don’t care…it’s just that….well, yeah, I don’t care."
"I’ve been to kindergarten, I know how this works."
“Life is an awful, ugly place to not have a best friend.”
"Here’s my number, call me maybe?"
"If I go to bed, baby can I take you?"
“Don’t think or judge, just listen.”
“I like flaws. I think they make things interesting.”
"Clearly I walked into this place at what you’d call a bad time."
"My parents are gone until late tonight and I’m ordering pizza. Who wants to come over?"
"If you don’t like Gilmore Girl’s then you have no soul. Pass it on."
"What’s a girl/guy gotta do to get a good conversation around here?"
"I’m a terrible, awful person. But I’m working on it."
"Well, if you need anything else, don’t call me."
"It’s hard for me to show kindness to people who hate me. I’m not that evolved."
"This hostage stuff is fun!"
"Now, why didn’t I hear a knock?"
"You don’t annoy me. You make me nervous."
"I wasn’t aware until this precise and awkward moment that when startled in a startled in a strange place, my instincts would have me pretend to be a ninja.”
"How can the police department not have n answering machine?"
"I need coffee in an IV."
"College is breaking my spirit."
"I find nothing exciting before 11:00."
"So I spent a night in jail. Big deal. So did Martin Luther King."
"Does he have a motorcycle? Because if you’re going to throw your life away, he better have a motorcycle."
"Yeah, can we not do this whole ‘school’ thing?"